


I'll Be Back

by ymeer



Series: All's Fair [3]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-22 14:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3732724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ymeer/pseuds/ymeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders does not like being left behind, especially when it's for such a long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Be Back

**Author's Note:**

> The last fic with these guys in it had only Anders confessing love. Of course, I had to do a part 2: Fenris edition.

Anders was pacing around Fenris' room, looking more frazzled and nervous than he normally did. "Are you sure?"

"Hawke doesn't need yet another mage." Fenris was trying to let Anders down easily - it wasn't working particularly well. 

"Yes, but I'm a _healer_ , you always need one of those. Especially for such a long journey." Anders glanced over at Fenris, who was calmly leaning up against a crumbling wall as if he wasn't about to leave the mage for over three weeks.

"I will return."

"How can you be so sure? Have you made a pact with death lately?" Anders' gaze met Fenris' as he clenched his jaw in an attempt to look more imposing. 

"I am sure you can find other things to do while I'm away, you will barely miss me." Fenris wasn't particularly sure he believed the second part, but it wasn't as if he was going to admit that. 

Anders scowled, huffing a bit. "Right. Because you know so much about what's going on inside my mind. Your baseless assumptions are one thing I surely won't miss."

"Mage." Fenris warned, regretting his words but hoping Anders wouldn't actually instigate a full blown argument. 

"There you go, adding to the list of things I'll be happy to not deal with for a week. Mage this, mage that. Maybe by the time you get back, you'll have forgotten my name." 

It seemed as if Anders wasn't going to let this one go, and Fenris decided that he probably deserved it. Hawke usually made it protocol to bring Anders and Fenris together, if only because Fenris got hurt more than any other warrior, and Anders could fix him up a little easier, not to mention faster. Unfortunately, Merrill was going up to Sundermount, and bringing too many mages into the Dalish camp was dangerous, given the precarious position the Dalish had with the city. 'Harboring' more apostates than they needed to would be dangerous, and Hawke wanted above all else to prevent additional scuffles with templars. 

"You do not sincerely think I would forget your name." Fenris walked over to Anders, reaching out for the mage's hand and subsequently stilling Anders' pacing. 

Anders stood with his hand caught before looking down at his feet. "Fenris..." He bit his lip, taking a shuffling step towards the elf. "I mean, sometimes you do go an awfully long time without saying it, don't you think?" The attempt to bring humor into the conversation felt out of place, and Fenris scoffed a little bit, squeezing Anders' hand a bit for encouragement. If he had learned any one thing about the mage, it was that Anders relished in any sort of contact, and although now was not the time for something incredibly intimate, Anders seemed to appreciate the gesture, sighing gently and giving Fenris' hand a squeeze in return. 

"Hush." Fenris stepped up behind Anders, wrapping his free hand around the mage's waist as he pulled him closer. "You're stating the impossible. I would not let myself forget, Anders."

Anders leaned back, closing his eyes as he let the tension escape his body. It was moments like these where Fenris wished he could be a bit taller. After all, he had learned that he liked holding Anders in his arms and he figured that it would probably be nicer if he could reach just a bit higher for a kiss or perhaps simply to rest his head more comfortably on Anders' feathered shoulder. 

"I'll make you some more healing potions, stamina ones too. Where are your dirty bandages, I'll get them cleaned before tonight." Anders let go of Fenris' hand, slowly turning around so that he faced the elf. "Try to make it back fast."

"You are always worrying." Fenris shook his head as much as he could, given the position, before backing away. "I will bring them for you."

"Thanks." Anders said, turning around to face Fenris again. "I hate it when Hawke doesn't bring me." 

"Do not look so glum. It gives you more time to do the things you enjoy, after all." Fenris attempted to reason with the mage, although he knew fully well that it would never work. 

"I _enjoy_ not having to wonder whether or not anyone in your party knows how to heal anything more serious than a scratch." Anders crossed his arms, looking at Fenris. 

"The answer to that is simple - I know how to heal things more serious than a scratch." Fenris responded, looking frustrated. 

"What? Your way doesn't count! I don't mean wrapping and sewing and disinfecting. I mean _magic_." 

"It does the same job. Many of us get along without magic fine enough, Mage." Fenris was getting angry - Anders' was presumptuous to assume that healing needed a mage. It wasn't even as if Anders used his magic all the time. Healing traditionally worked fine, and Anders was not helping anything by advocating for magic yet again. 

"My magic has saved your life many times." 

"And magic has ruined it many times before that." 

"Fenris, _please._ "

"What? You seek to dispute that claim? Very well, remind me again of the pain not caused by magic in my life. Go on. I assure you that if magic had never touched me, I would be better for it." Fenris' chest was heaving a bit, as he clenched his fists, angry before Anders even got the chance to retort.

For once, Anders was silent.

"Do not bother cleaning my bandages, I will purchase my own at the vendor." Fenris stated, turning and leaving the clinic without another word.

=====

For a while, Anders couldn't decide whose fault it was. Fenris was angry, sure, but Anders had known better, and he hadn't wanted to get in a fight in the first place. By the next morning, Fenris was off with Hawke and Anders was left with his guilt and his cause. 

The first week it was almost easy to forget that he was sleeping alone. There was work to be done, there were people to speak with and to heal, and there were mages to be freed. Justice was a pressure at the back of Anders' mind, always asking for so much - and Anders certainly didn't have anyone to tell him _not to_ overwork himself anymore. The second week was slower. It was full of writing and cleaning and restocking. The clinic was as clean as it could ever be, and Anders wondered if he should go over to Fenris' mansion and start his cleaning there, only to be reminded that there'd been an unresolved fight, and even though Fenris was not at home, Anders was likely not welcome there. The third week was simply painful - he barely slept, and had almost given a patient the wrong potion, twice. A few days later, Anders was ambushed by a group of thugs after making a house call late at night, and although he had beaten them off with relative ease, he had a few residual scratches and wounds that stung as he walked back to the clinic, his mana temporarily at a low level. Locking the door, he collapsed onto his bed, finally granted sleep.

It was in this state that he was found the next morning. 

Hawke's gloved hand tried shaking Anders again. Varric was stowing his spare key away, and Merrill sat on the floor, looking at her feet solemnly. The only sign of Fenris was a bit of movement outside the clinic's doors as he fidgeted, not willing to enter just yet. 

Anders was not one for being woken up. He usually had a relatively good internal clock - the clinic opened regularly in the morning, and he never had much trouble rising on his own. However, his injuries and lack of earlier sleep (along with his lack of a sleeping partner) made it so he had slept through the morning - long enough to encourage any people waiting outside to go home and try another day. Shocked by the shaking of his shoulder, he nearly jumped out of the bed, his eyes opening as he instinctively reached for his staff, which was leaning up against one of the posts of his cot. 

"I warn you, I'm armed." He said, casting a shield and then a mind blast, which was strong enough to reach back to Varric, who got the residual effects of it and staggered around for a few seconds before righting himself. 

Outside the door there was another movement, and Fenris peeked inside the clinic for a moment before retreating. 

"Maker, Anders." Hawke stepped back, his hands going up to the air beside his head. "We just came by to drop off the empty bottles from our trip."

Anders took a moment as he reassessed the situation. Lowering his staff, he sighed. "Hawke, the door was locked."

"I know, that's why we had to break in. The clinic is never closed this late. What kind of trouble did you get into, you're all scratched up." Hawke leaned down, picking a stray feather off the floor and setting it on Anders' desk. 

Fenris was beginning to think that standing this far away was likely not a good idea. The mage could not see him, which was likely a good thing, but people were starting to look at him strangely, and he shot a glare their way before glancing back inside the clinic, just to check and see what Hawke was talking about. He did not want Anders hurt, and the mage usually healed his wounds quickly. 

"You know what, Hawke. Just leave the bottles somewhere, I'll get everyone a nice stew at the Hanged Man. Blondie here looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks." Varric piped up from beside Merrill, where he had found a seat. He was apparently trying to cheer her up a bit, although it did not seem to be working. 

"Forget the latter part of that sentence, just leave the bottles. I'm not going out." Anders pointed to a spot on the floor. "Bottles, there."

"You're mad at me." Hawke observed, his eyes narrowing a bit as he rummaged around in his pack, setting down the bottles on the spot on the floor. 

"Mad? Me? You could have brought me along." Anders huffed, still holding his staff. 

"We didn't get hurt." Hawke responded, stepping back. "Not physically, not too much. Um." He looked over at Merrill, who was avoiding eye contact with Varric completely. 

"What happened? Where's..." Anders trailed off, correcting himself. "Just tell me what happened."

"We'll talk about it later. What's your other question." Hawke didn't feel as if he had the right to describe what happened to Merrill's clan. Especially not when she was sitting right there. 

"My other question isn't important."

Hawke sighed, trying not to roll his eyes. "If you decide your other question is important, he's outside the door." With his whispering finished, Hawke walked over to Merrill, helping her off the floor before ushering her and Varric out of the clinic. 

Anders sighed, leaning his staff up against the wall as he walked over to the door. He stood a few inches inside of the entryway, looking out into Darktown, although he knew fully well that Fenris was likely only standing a little ways off to the right or left. "Why are you out here, Fenris." He didn't really mean it as a question, but he wanted to make sure the elf knew that this wasn't going to simply go away without a real discussion. 

"I was not sure if you would let me in." Fenris' voice was a bit muted, as it was facing away from where Anders was standing, but the mage heard it all the same. 

"To talk." Anders asserted, stepping back. 

Fenris nodded, taking a breath before walking into the clinic. "Anders."

"Fenris." Anders hoped his voice didn't betray anything - he was still mad that he'd been left alone without even a goodbye. 

"You are injured."

"It's really not that bad. Some bandits must have mistaken me for someone who couldn't fight alone." Anders let a wave of healing magic pulse over his injuries, ignoring Fenris' scowl.

"They clearly underestimated you." Fenris replied, deciding the shrug off the magic use for now. 

"Clearly." Anders was not willing to look away before Fenris did, and he was currently making eye contact with the elf, steadily holding it as he spoke. "How was your trip?"

"Eventful." Fenris didn't want this - he had missed the mage sorely the past three weeks, and this stiff, awkward conversation was almost painful for him. 

"I wasn't aware that Hawke knew." Anders commented, his voice a bit cold. 

"It appears as if he does." Fenris replied, before adding a clarification. "He may know more than he did before. I required...conversation."

"Oh, right, you required conversation. I never would have guessed, seeing how you left without saying goodbye." Anders fist clenched a bit, and he was glad now that he'd fallen asleep with his clothes on. It would have been difficult to look sufficiently angry in just his smalls. "Who knew you were such a fan of chatting."

"I would not have spoken with Hawke if I did not need to, Anders." 

"Oh, you needed to speak with Hawke. What, may I ask, did you _need_ to speak with him about?" 

Fenris clenched his jaw for a second before relaxing it. "I do not know how to deal with this."

"No, you really don't. I don't pride myself on being able to hold relationships, but I don't just walk away for three weeks when someone pisses me off."

"I was already leaving."

"Well, I had hoped you were planning on at least saying goodbye." 

"I was. Anders, listen to me." Fenris' exhaustion from the trip was just starting to kick in. He wanted to sleep, but he knew this was far more important. 

"Fine, I'm listening."

"Hawke noticed before I did that I was distraught. It was not I who initiated the conversation. He was worried for me, I believe I may have been temperamental. He reminded me of some things that I believe I may have forgotten during our last conversation." Fenris was trying to form his sentences in a way that made sense, although he worried that he was not doing a good enough job. "I wish to apologize."

Anders took a cautious step towards Fenris, his mind conflicted. "I'm sorry, too. About the magic, and discounting your ability to take care of yourself, and..Maker, Fenris, please don't do this again."

"I will not. Will you permit me to stay tonight?"

Hesitating, Anders looked over at his bed before nodding and turning back to Fenris. "Want to just get in bed now? You look tired, I have a few hours of sleep left in me, probably. Everyone thinks the clinic is closed anyways."

Fenris managed to smile a bit, hefting his sword off his back and leaning it against the wall before closing and locking the door behind him. 

=====

On their way to the bed, both Anders and Fenris tried to ignore the fact that they kept sneaking glances at one another. Anders looked over as Fenris was unbuckling his armour, and Fenris found his eyes focused on the mage as he untied his boots. In a rare moment of honesty, Fenris admitted to himself that the sight of Anders was one he had been longing for ever since leaving, and that had only been amplified by the fear of the outcome of his mistake. 

Eventually, they made it into the bed. Anders lay on the outside, as he frequently did, and Fenris found himself next to the wall, wondering what he ought to do next. Thankfully, Anders' talkativeness made itself known, solving that problem. 

"So, did you hate sleeping alone as much as I did?" He asked, laying on his back with his eyes focused on the ceiling. 

"It depends on whether or not you loathed it with every fiber of your being." Fenris turned to face Anders, who eventually turned to meet his eyes. 

"I did, of course." Anders smiled a bit, hoping he could warm the elf up to a bit of cuddling before he fell asleep. 

Fenris, however, did not need warming up. He simply was not good at asking the mage for intimacy, and was currently debating what excuse he might use to bring Anders' form closer to his own. "Is this bed larger since I was last here? It feels as if there is more space.."

Anders rolled his eyes. "Why, do you want a bigger one?" Taking the hint, he moved closer to Fenris, letting his head rest on the elf's chest. 

Suddenly, he was wrapped up by two surprisingly strong arms, and the top of his head was met with what felt like Fenris' chin. It was such an instantaneous hug that Anders briefly wondered whether or not the elf was having some sort of fit. After a few seconds, he relaxed, closing his eyes and letting one hand make its way around Fenris' waist. 

"I missed you." 

Anders' eyes flitted open for a moment at Fenris' confession before he let them shut again. The arm he had around Fenris' waist gave the elf a comforting squeeze as he nodded. "I missed you too."

"I was not aware I could be so reliant on a person." Fenris admitted, whispering so that only Anders could hear. 

"It isn't easy." Anders gave Fenris' chest a little kiss, the corners of his lips turned up with what felt like happiness. 

"Hawke thinks we are lovers." Fenris added, feeling a bit ashamed he'd spoken so much to their mutual friend without consulting Anders first. 

"Since I wasn't there, it must have been something you did, or said." Anders was trying to tread as carefully as he could - he did not want Fenris to think that he was somehow condemning that notion. He'd thought of them as such for a while now, although he understood Fenris' apparent hesitation. 

"I told him how I was experiencing the distance and the circumstance, he responded by telling me that is how lovers act. Or..how one in love acts." Fenris was trying to get a message across, he just wasn't sure exactly what message it was yet. 

Anders paused, hoping that Fenris couldn't hear or feel the rate of his heartbeat. "Was he jumping to conclusions again?" He asked, trying to practically radiate bravery for Fenris to grab on to and use. It wasn't going so well.

Fenris shook his head, messing up Anders' hair in the process - not that it wasn't already a disaster. "I don't think he was. Venhedis, Anders." 

"It's alright, Fenris." Anders pulled away from Fenris' grip so that he could look up into the elf's eyes, which were astonishingly watery, although Anders dared not point it out for fear of sacrificing the moment. "Feeling this way is okay. I'll do everything I can to prove that to you."

"Why must it be so much? It is constant and at times incredibly painful. It's a paradox I have trouble understanding. I am yours, yet you are mine as well." Fenris clenched his jaw, looking down Anders' who was gazing up at him with compassion. 

"It doesn't make much sense, I'll give you that." Anders sighed wistfully as he leaned up, giving Fenris a chaste kiss. "It does feel right, though. I won't deny I had a bit of trepidation myself, not for that, but..love is so dangerous in a place like this. One of us could so easily become a tool for bartering if we were captured or hurt, but to deny myself this because of my fear felt wrong. When I admitted that to myself it got a lot easier."

"That is why you have told me it before. That you love me." Fenris clarified, his brow furrowing just a bit. 

"Yeah, that's why I could do it." 

"I love you." Fenris hoped it wasn't choked out too abruptly, but he wanted to say it before he lost the courage or the will, or perhaps the sheer foolishness that had driven him to it. 

"You'll grow into it, it gets way easier after the first time." Anders was trying and failing not to beam with happiness. 

Fenris blushed, although it was barely perceptible beneath his dark skin, and he leaned in for another kiss, his eyes closing as he finally felt what Anders had described about it feeling _right_ that this was happening.


End file.
